ive been told that everything has a price, brought up in a lifestyle where expenses rule above all else. price tags and titles are undesirable, I find no necessity in them.

words are the value of all of your diamonds.

the bravery and courage one musters up to look into my eyes and offer me a promise without any intentions to break goes above and.beyond any gift ever received.

this sponge of a heart soaks up every half ass promise, every drunken slur of a maybe honesty, and every chip of hope tucked between teeth. I suppose not everyone searches for the purity in a persons voice, at least not as profoundly as I do.

it isn’t blasphemy in any aspect. its merely a life lesson I’m still trying to teach myself when my mind is too stubborn to budge. but where does one find the antidote for the hopeless? once you’ve captured my heart, even accidentally in a small moment in time, you gain a piece of my entire life. we are robots formulated by the timeline of everything weve loved or lost. how do humans carry on without even a stitch of themselves harbored onto a memory? how lucky some are to possess the ability let go and overcome. but how fucking thoughtless of others to break promises and take for granted someone else’s spirit, neverminding the damage and over analyzing theyre then put through.

years of heart break and falsehoods disintegrates the innocence and hope in all of us. our faith is gradually and yet violently torn to bits and pieces, thrown aside to collect dust.

every word I’ve ever said that held any meaning to me, even in its slightest form, remains true and will forever be sincere. none of you have a clue as to the power you have over me, purposely so. its the reason I’m too afraid to show it and why it means so much when I actually do. the risk of someone hurting me is too far of a plunge, one I know I could survive but not one I’m willing to battle through alone.

instead, I spill my guts on paper to myself, the only one who could never overlook or under mind words that take fucking heart to admit.

if its said in a whisper instead of a scream, does it not make me sincere? is what I have to say any less important? and would anyone stop to listen?

Pushed onward into a deeper nightmare, the kind you don’t remember dreaming and can’t recollect the details of once you wake in the morning. There isn’t a face I can recall or a word I can recite by memory, just the squeeze on my heart like a trigger reluctantly drawn. In the division of an almost moment, i had to let a piece of me go with you. I believed I hadn’t been made of much or had much left to offer until I knew you weren’t coming back and the world became such a small, cruel place, I gave you the utmost of me I had.

I never questioned why, I knew the reason would reveal itself for those who were patient. Though so many generous words haven been said and exchanged with your name tied at the beginning and end of every sentence, you’ve left us all speechless. do not search for the meaning in our voices but the raw sentiment in the shards of our hearts, there aren’t words ample enough to illustrate the drive behind them or the broken and twisted off rail of our young timelines. Collectively, our promises are to remember the moments where you blessed us with your laugh and love, shake our heads at the times we knew we could’ve spent a little more time with you but still treasure what little time we did have.

It isn’t a nightmare as we had so much hoped it to be, this isn’t a mistake that can be taken back and forgiven for, and there isn’t a second chance. I know that with every day that passes now, every dim light will appear brighter, every room may seem a little less vacant and every smile can be a little more sincere.

Still, your heart of gold will never tarnish. You have brought us together; to pick one another up and carry on to tell stories of the remarkable individual you are.

Whether heaven exists or not, I hope you’re somewhere warm, somewhere where you’re mindful of all the good you’ve left with us. It doesn’t matter where we go, whatever direction any of us take, because in the end we are all headed to the same place. We’ll see you one day.